Rolf Kreitel
Consultant · Trainer · Coach
Leadership • Ethics • Sustainability
Ethics isn’t extra. It’s the core.
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"Good teams become great ones when the members trust each other enough to surrender the Me for the We.”
Phil Jackson - legendary NBA coach and 11-time champion with the Bulls & Lakers
Photo © Joe Schilp, used with permission.
What coaching means to me
Coaching is not a template. It’s a relationship built on attention and courage. I attune to the person in front of me—observe, listen, and ask questions until a real picture of their personality, role, and context emerges. Then I give feedback that is sensitive and direct.
I design challenges, create a bit of productive friction, and turn insight into growth—always tailored to the person, the role, and the organization’s future needs.
How I work
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Observe & attune: read behavior, patterns, and context before prescribing
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Ask better questions: curiosity over quick answers
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Say it cleanly: honest feedback—clear, specific, respectful
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Create productive friction: stretch goals and real-world tests
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Translate to practice: development profiles and next steps that actually move the needle
My Favorite Tools for Self-Management and Coaching
I. Managing Impulsive Reactions - The Responsibility Process
The Responsibility Process®
Developed and trademarked by Christopher Avery, Ph.D.
Referenced here for educational and explanatory purposes.
When things go wrong...
Whenever we face problems, mistakes, or setbacks, our first reactions are rarely rational. Something breaks, a deadline is missed, feedback hurts — and our mind goes into defense mode.
We don’t jump to responsibility—we fall through emotions first. Denial, blame, justify… then, if we’re awake, we climb.
Christopher Avery, Ph.D., mapped this pattern as The Responsibility Process®—a simple model that names the mind’s first moves under pressure (denial, lay blame, justify, shame, obligation) and the deliberate shift to responsibility. It gives us neutral language for what we feel and a clear staircase out.
Why it matters
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In self-coaching: you learn to notice the stage you’re in, wedge awareness between perception and reaction, and move yourself up the ladder.
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In leadership: you help others see the same pattern without moral judgment. You give them language for what’s happening and a way forward—toward real ownership.
It’s simple, it’s human, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Denial
(pretending there’s no problem)
“I didn’t get the email.”
“I never heard about that deadline.”
“That rule doesn’t apply to me.”
Lay Blame (pointing the finger)
“I’m late because traffic was terrible.”
“The network broke again—it’s IT’s fault.”
“We missed the target because these new guys didn’t deliver.”
Justify (explaining it away)
“Everyone was late, not just me.”
“Of course sales are down, the economy is bad.”
“I couldn’t finish—the target was unrealistic anyway.”
Shame (turning it against oneself)
“I’m just not smart enough for this.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I’ll never be as good as the others.”
Obligation (acting without ownership)
“I have to attend this meeting, it’s required.”
“I can’t say no—my boss expects it.”
“I should be more disciplined, but…”
Responsibility (choosing ownership)
“Yes, I was late. Next time I’ll leave earlier.”
“I didn’t hit the target—I’ll review my process and adjust.”
“I need support on this skill, so I’ll ask for coaching.”
II. The Quest of (Self)Motivation
Herzberg’s model has patina—and that’s exactly why it works. It cleanly separates what we constantly mix up in daily life: What truly motivates? And what merely prevents frustration?
Motivators pull you upward: meaning in the work, growth, responsibility, recognition.
Hygiene factors keep the baseline clean: pay, conditions, title, rules, security.
Hard truth, helpful insight: a company car, high salary, nice office, friendly colleagues—don’t motivate.
They matter, yes. But they’re hygiene. If they’re missing or feel unfair, they frustrate.
If they’re in place, the system is simply quiet.
For self-reflection and coaching, that means:
Hygiene: fix dysfunctions, pay fairly, clarify processes—stabilize the base.
Motivators: invest in meaning, autonomy, recognition, and growth—this is where energy emerges.
In short: first clean, then meaningful. If you want motivation, tend to hygiene—and then build the drive.
Reflection Questions
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How long does the effect of a pay raise last—days, weeks, months?
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What exactly do I enjoy about a new company car—status, comfort, symbol? And how fast does it normalize?
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Where do I currently experience real motivators (meaning, responsibility, growth, recognition)?
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Which hygiene factors are below par (pay, tools, processes, security) and drain energy?
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If I could improve one thing today: fix a hygiene issue or strengthen a motivator—what would it be?
III. The 16 Basic Human Desires
Steven Reiss (1947 – 2016) was one of those rare psychologists who preferred people over theories.
His research at Ohio State University led to the discovery of sixteen fundamental desires that drive human motivation — a framework that bridges biology, psychology, and everyday life.
In “Who Am I? The 16 Basic Desires that Motivate Our Behavior” (2000), Reiss described what most motivation theories overlook:
that our drives are not learned, but innate, and that no two people share the same motivational fingerprint.
He called them the reasons for being:
from Power, Curiosity, and Independence to Order, Acceptance, and Tranquility.
Each desire holds both light and shadow — energy in balance or distortion.
Reiss didn’t try to rank or moralize our motives.
He simply revealed the invisible architecture of human striving.
The Nature of Desire
Desires are the silent engines of human behavior — strong, often unconscious motives that steer what we seek, what drives us, and what exhausts us.
They operate beneath reason, shaping decisions long before we can justify them.
To understand desire is to recognize that we don’t choose our motives; we interpret them.
Our perception turns impulses into stories:
“I want recognition” becomes “I want to be seen.”
“I need order” becomes “I am structured.”
They are not problems to solve but patterns to understand tensions that make each human being distinct in rhythm and intensity.
To ignore them is to live in reaction to them.
To see them clearly is to regain authorship.
Awareness doesn’t change what drives us; it changes our relationship with what drives us.